My Hubby and I have taught Gary Chapman’s, The Five Love Languages, many times. We have taught it in our home church, many places across the U.S., in Haiti, Asia and Mexico. We normally write and teach our own material, but, The Five Love Languages has truly been a remarkable tool for our own relationship. And, we love to teach it. We have our own unique way of teaching our participants, by practicing each love language, and we have created many visual aids. We have taught these Love Languages to singles, couples and I have taught them at women’s conferences. Our Children are well versed in The Love Languages, and our Grand-babes benefit from our knowledge of their primary love languages. One thing Ed (my Hubby) and I have become more skillful in, is giving love to one another in our primary love languages. We are not experts, but we have made it a priority to be students of one another and to place honor and respect on the other’s needs. The reason I tell you these things, is because I believe in the principle of The 5 Love Languages~Because it will enhance your life and bless those that you love. ”The objective of giving love is not to manipulate, but it is a proven fact that when we lift one another up (fill one another’s love tank), our loved one (the receiver of our love and encouragement~whoever that may be) will respond and possibly reciprocate.” ~ Gary Chapman, The Reciprocal Principle
When we make a change in our lives, those around us have to make a change (in some way) to respond to our change! Believe it! So be careful in what you say and do, and watch the attitude! It has been said that attitude determines the color of our lives!
My primary love language is Words of Affirmation. I find that many women are blessed with this primary love language. Believe it or not, it is one of the easiest love languages for a husband to learn to speak. One of the first, and most important, things you need to know about the Love Language of Words of Affirmation is that non-affirming words are extremely hurtful to a Words of Affirmation kind of gal!
One of the ways in which we give Words of Affirmation is through encouraging words. I believe that it’s really important to understand what it means to encourage someone.
What does it mean to encourage?
To encourage means to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope; as in encouraging one another with kind and inspiring words. Many times when we attempt to encourage someone, we forget that encouragement is meant to inspire and nurture (to care for and encourage growth).
Yesterday, as I sat sipping a cup of coffee along side a friend, I had the awesome privilege to encourage her. She and her husband are in the beginning stages of a new and exciting ministry. This is a ministry that has led them, somewhat, out of their comfort zones. Isn’t that just like the Lord to lead us outside our box! What a blessing it was for me to listen to my friend share how the Lord has been leading them step by step, allowing them to help others in need and all the while, the Lord is doing a work in their own hearts. It’s so exciting for me, to know that my friend feels comfortable in sharing all of this with me, and to know that she knows I WILL ENCOURAGE her and AFFIRM that she has heard the voice of God!
Today, someone I love very deeply called me, to encourage her as she faces the possibility of losing her job because of state budget cuts in programs for children. My encouragement to my loved one was for her to remember how God has always been faithful in her life. I inspired her to allow God to inspire her, as she remembers and thanks Him for His faithfulness.
Several months ago I witnessed, online, one Christian author horribly un-inspire a fellow Christian author. Let’s just say the un-inspirer was adding her two cents when it was un-called for. When we speak words to inspire someone, we must remember that we are inspiring this person to give her/him courage, spirit, or hope as to something that is personal to them. It really has nothing to do with what we want for this person, or our opinions. It may be something they want to accomplish, something they are needing, or to be inspired to step out in faith to do something, or speak up about something. Many times, adding our two cents is saying, “that was a real good attempt by you, but I am going to add this or inject this, because quite frankly I can do this better than you can~and you are wrong because I don’t totally agree with you“. There may or may not come a time and place when we can add to or give advice, IN LOVE. If not…
…Perhaps, Simply Encouragement is Enough!
“For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11
Just as you are doing~just as Paul is encouraging (inspiring courage to keep on doing) as he did in 4:1, 4:18 and 5:11~I want to encourage you,and I, to …
…Simply Enjoy, Inspiring Courage ~ Encouraging One Another, in Love!
